Teaching my pre-schooler about gifting

All kids know about gifts...how to RECEIVE them :)

Teaching our kids to learn how to give is an entirely different ball of wax.

The past two years I've taken Charlotte to the Dollar Tree and allowed her to pick out a gift for her sister's birthday.  Often, it's Adelyn's favorite gift just because it's from her sister, whom she idolizes.

Charlotte's sparkly ball was Adelyn's 1st birthday gift

A pom-pom and megaphone was her 2nd birthday gift

This year I feel like Charlotte is getting big enough to understand a few more things about giving a gift.

It all started when Charlotte began telling her Grandma (and later Joe and I) that Adelyn really WANTED and NEEDED a stomp rocket for her birthday. She was insistent!

Well, if you know my children at all, you know that the last thing Adelyn wants for her birthday is a stomp rocket.  HOWEVER, after giving them as a gift to a few friend's for their birthdays, it's obvious that Charlotte was coveting a stomp rocket for herself.

This makes complete sense.  Charlotte is our crazy, loud, outside, never-stop-moving-child.

However, it gave me a window into my child's selfish desire on her sister's birthday, which told me it was time to deal with that (in a loving, but corrective way).

So, on a Sunday afternoon I took Charlotte out (just she and I) and got some Starbucks to make our shopping exciting, and not lecture-ish :)  On the way there, I began talking to Charlotte about the stomp rocket and how I completely understood why she might enjoy a stomp rocket, so she should ask for one for her birthday or Christmas, because they do seem like a lot of fun!

Then, I asked her what sorts of things her sister liked.  I had already thought that Charlotte's new obsession with crafts might serve us well in this birthday venture, but I tried to keep an open mind because I wanted her to learn something about giving, not tell her how to give.  The idea I had in my head was to buy a hand mirror and have Charlotte bling it out because Adelyn loves to play dress up.  However, after 15 minutes in the dollar tree, Charlotte found a set of "crowns" like Queen crowns that were made of foam (perfect for crafting).  She decided that a 2-pack was perfect because she could make one for Adelyn and one for Lily (one of our adored best buds who was born the same day as Adelyn). So, $5 later, we had settled on Adelyn's present (and Lily's) from Charlotte.

To seal the deal, Charlotte told me she wanted to buy Adelyn a singing card (which her sister does truly love) and 5 more dollars later, we had finished shopping.  That's when the fun began :)

She spent about 90 minutes creating these two "crowns" with glitter, gems, pom-poms, stickers, etc.  I felt a little Mommy-satisfaction as we worked on this together while Adelyn napped. She chose colors like blue, green, and yellow for Adelyn's and pink and purple for Lily's, thinking about what she knew each of them loved.  Every time I heard "Adelyn is going to really love this..." I felt like there was a small victory for my child's understanding of giving (even if it was small :).

Yellow is Adelyn's favorite color :)

All finished :)

working hard on Lily's

I love how diligently she worked!

The big ideas I will try to keep reiterating:

1) Giving someone a gift is all about thinking about what THEY love, not what we love.

2) Spending time and energy creating a gift is a special kind of gift!

3) The most loved gift need not always the biggest or the most expensive.


How do you help your kids learn how to give?